the battle of emotions

you build shields, you try your best to block the potential attacks.

but,

when your surroundings and close happenings affect you deep, manage to hurt you and break your system,

you know you're losing in the battle of emotions.

it is a long battle.

when victory seems unattainable, you fight on.

you do not give up. you can not afford to. you would be stucked beyond the realm of conscience if you do.

however,
when you win this, and if you do win this battle,
when you finally do not feel the pain,

you know you have finally won the battle of emotions..

Emotional vs Rational

the battle has started months back, the kind that i thought i would come out strong and alive. the kind that i thought i would come back as a respected war veteran.

for the better, for changes, for future, it had to be.

so, i thought.

never knew what i imagined did not come out as expected. it was a different warzone i entered. the one where emotions are tested, and senses are brutally killed.

emotions are running high, rationale being ignored.

right now, future looks bleak. hope seems to drift away as days go by. reinforcement is needed badly. how do i fight this emotional battle any longer?

whatever it takes, i had to fight it.

every glory story, every happy ending, starts with a great emotional battle.

existence is almost non-existent.

i can feel the distance,

everything changes when priorities are shifted. the process of drifting away is almost non-existent but somehow felt. the pain is deep and sharp.

things happen for all sort of reasons. it is difficult, it is hard. sequence and timings of happenings are unblameable.

this sort of transition has never been easy. and each time, different methods are used to deal with it. experimented all sort of ways and experienced the same.

give up?,

i shall not.

it rains the hardest on those who deserve the sun,
as the rain brings too much memories..

i miss you. alot. do you know?