the happiness of others' is my karma.

my life is an irony.

i had a lot, i gave all away.
i had something, i wanted something else.
i finally got something else, i want what i gave away.

grass is always greener at the other side they say.

maybe.

i say, not. in fact, both sides are just as good as each.

chinese believe, you must always give away a certain amount you earn.

me? well, i gave more than what i earn away.



karma is a funny thing. it always bite you at a funny time in a funny way.

but nevertheless, it never fails to bite you at the end.

a book.

weeks back, i saw a book.

it was not a new book, but a book i once knew long ago. i picked it up and read the back of the book.

"interesting", i thought.

since then, i started reading it. day and night. sometimes, till late night. weekdays or weekends.

it was great. it was fun. it was an unique book, not any ordinary. and i love those.

we were attached after awhile. i could not bare the thought of not reading even a page for a day.

trust me oh trust me, i did not read any other book just as you thought. i wouldn't do such a thing. when i start reading one, i am a person that will never touch another, not even an old book that i once left.

one day, just when i finished a page, as i turn to the next, i realized the next page was unreadable.

i was shocked.

i can't move on if i don't have that page. i need that page. it just ain't the same if i skip a page. for people who know me, i am a person that can't miss a single minute in the movies.

i closed the book and left. the unreadable page was a surprise i could not bare.

i am stucked. i don't know how to move forward anymore..

i never thought it would end this way. i never expected it would be the first and last sorry i had to say.

but, i really am.

give up?

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over.
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further.
This ain't lust, I know this is love.

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough.
'Cause it was not said to you.
And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you.

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

I build myself up and fly around in circles.
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle.
Finally could this be it?